The end of a phase in our lives came today, a time of struggle and survival all through which we were accompanied by one of the bravest and happiest souls we shall ever know. Old age, weakening bones and cancer finally brought an end to a light that had kept shining in our darkest nights and stormiest moments. We shall miss him, hearing his voice and feeling his presence whenever we drive up to the door, or a challenge is needed when a stranger arrives, or a kiss is wanted at a moment of illness.
I always go back to that muggy day that we drove up to the house we were putting in (Has it really been twelve years?), soon to be our first home in Arizona. Thunderstorms loomed over the hills, their rumbling a troubled and dramatic backdrop to the scene we found. I heard barking from under the front stairs, saw a battered-looking coyote trotting off into the brush with our arrival, and another lying dead near the back door. There was blood on the ground where something had been severely wounded, and tracks everywhere. This was one pack of killers that had run into prey they couldn't handle, a startling sight.
Even more startling was what I found under the crude stairs: A shaking but thoroughly defiant ball of black fur. The instant he saw me bend down to coax him, he came out and jumped into my arms in relief, very tired and dehydrated with the heat and the interrupted fight. Covered with bite marks and sporting a few bald patches where his hair had been ripped out, it was obvious that he was the one responsible for the carnage, though I still shake my head in amazement when I think about it.
But his instincts had won him the time he'd needed for us to come to the rescue. As we drove him to the vet for treatment and to find his owner, I related to Kathy how the little guy had evidently been cornered by the coyotes, killed one outright and then managed to slip under the stairs where his back would be covered. A vicious duel had ensued, for how long before we arrived I couldn't tell, but the blood nearby told that he'd scored well enough to make the pack's remnants back off and try to wait him out.
His tag said "Buster", not exactly original but it suited the Cockapoo-Chow mix of his heritage well enough that we didn't change it later on. His owner, a retired gentleman, told the vet that he was weary of the dog's constant escapes and that we could take on the burden if we were stupid enough to try. When the vet told us that Buster had quite a reputation for wandering and trouble-making, and that he would put him down for us, we got the little year-old mutt out of there as quickly as the paperwork could be cleared. We haven't had a moment's regret for the decision, either, as we never had a single problem, and always wondered why he'd gotten the rep he'd had with others. But then, after all, his name was Buster, eh?
Now he lays with our other loyal friend Arthur, who came out with us from California and tended us with a grumpy and proud humor like most Rottweilers, but never gave anyone grief that didn't have it coming. They played with and protected each other (and us) for ten wonderful years, until our old knight put his huge head down for the last time two springs ago. I pray they are romping together now as we go about our daily mortal grind, until we can be greeted at the gates once more by their joyous barks and gentle tongues. It would not seem like heaven without them.
Hail and well met, happy warriors! "The pain of our parting stings like life itself, but time is only a matter of this world, so have patience. We shall be along soon enough." _________________ "For I have drawn Judah taut and applied [My hand] to Ephraim as to a bow." Zech. 9:13
http://www.freenations.freeuk.com/ http://www.melaniephillips.com/
Author
Message
editor Admin
Posts: 46 No Commercial Interest
Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 9:27 am Post subject:
Steve B:
Funny how our pets make such a huge difference in our lives and ARE aprt of the family and precious parts at that. I know they will be waiting for you when the time is right and I share your pain, as I know how you and Kathy feel Steve.
Saturday 21 July 2007 - 01:29:33
Thanks, Bro. I apologize for being so morbid, just had to put something up where I could revisit it outside the forum. Feel like howling to the wolves right now, but we'll get past this. Just hard to believe we've been through worse at the moment. Glad to know someone's out there.
Saturday 21 July 2007 - 05:30:27
Now that I think about it, there is something oddly appropriate (or merely coincidental, depending on your outlook) in all this, though perhaps you'll think I am being strange about it.
As Jews we are in the saddest time of the year, where nearly every negative event that has occurred to our people has taken place: The Three Weeks ending in the middle of the lunar month of Av, that in our calender is the period during which both Temples were destroyed, and a litany of other tragedies throughout history took place. I won't list them here, but suffice to say that Jews everywhere mourn their own losses along with the the destruction of our holiest sites during this season.
Interestingly, it is also considered a time of hope for the future, in that the survival of our culture and religion continued to unfold through repeated exiles and genocide. Despite such things, our people moved on, for to give in and die or be absorbed into surrounding nations meant more than a physical death. That was no choice at all, really.
So, this is a time when we fast and pray, both for our enemies and ourselves, that we may mourn what has gone and remember our loved ones, while renewing ourselves in the hope of promises made long ago to our people. It is why the Kaddish, the Prayer of Sanctification, is said over the graves of our dead, for it does not even mention death but is a renewal for those still living, a pledge that we will continue to bless and praise God as our fallen did and as our progeny will do in future.
How much more appropriate could it be that the heavens opened with their lamentation of fire and rain yesterday, just as I finished putting the last stone over Buster's tomb? How much more reassuring could it be that I read the Kaddish over him as the sun fanned the clouds with its warming rays this morning? The waters have come to wash away the stains from the dying, even as they kindle the desert into bloom. The pact was made and has been kept on both sides, so we take our first steps on a new path, and the road goes on.
I really want to write something appropriate here, but being totally honest I have very little except that reading your words above tells me that you have thought about lots and have managed to put things right in your mind and are now ready to accept and continue....
These are my words and I understand them I trust you do to my friend and Bro
Monday 23 July 2007 - 01:37:21
Segolden, i'm so sorry I've been off line and unable to speak to you. I lost my one of my cats last year and to this day and I think for always I will miss him and all his mad ways. His life long companion my very own little blackcat is now 16 and suffers from bouts of illhealth and I dread the day I loose him as he was always more my cat (I really believe he thinks I'm his mother). I feel your pain and shed more tears than I care to mention at the posts on the main forum.
Thursday 26 July 2007 - 20:35:26
Keep forgetting this is the vacation time over there, hope you had a good holiday (if that's what you were doing ), or at least a dry one.
Things have calmed here a bit, though time merely covers wounds and does not actually heal them. A rabbi once said that one of God's gifts is the ability to forget, and the bad memories tend to fade with distance. The tears still flow at some little reminder, but the cutting regret eases and the sadness turns to a wistful ache for the gap left in our lives. The process is beginning, thankfully, nonetheless a long one.
We still have two cats ourselves, Felicia and Charlene, who keep the house scratched up and free of pests. Both came wandering into our lives within a month of each other, bedraggled and half-starving during a thunderstorm. After six years, they still wrestle or chase around like sisters, and sleep together as if a living Yin-Yang symbol at the foot of our bed. Charlene's the "guard cat", staring out the window or door and growling whenever she spots something untoward. Coors and our late dogs would hear that and instantly go on alert, a better alarm system you couldn't have. Felicia is more the hunter, if not feigning offence at her dry food and howling for a can, then watching or listening for some sign of a varmint. At night she'll insist on a massage from me, while Charlene rolls like a dead log into Kathy's lap, both soon purring and snoring loudly as the TV blares.
I couldn't have pets when I was growing up, and didn't have any until I had the boys from my ex. They're grown and gone, along with several dogs that helped raise them. Kathy never had children, so our animals are her kids, though I have to take care of the chickens since her transplant prevents her from getting anywhere near birds. She's still a little shell-shocked by the last week, not unexpected but it doesn't help her condition. The stress is gradually lessening, though I have to keep one eye on her. We'll see what happens.
I'm rambling, pardon the run-on. Thanks for the note, and our best wishes for your kitty.
Friday 27 July 2007 - 00:25:52
Tell Kathy I understand fully, I can't have children and sometimes I feel my little blackcat fills that void. It may not help but my family believe that only a celebration of the life just past can help to heal, we remember with laughter all the thing they have done and with joy all the lives that were touched and hopefully bettered by the knowing of them. Time does not heal but it does allow us to remember with fondness and love instead of the pain.
On a lighter note I don't do holidays, I just couldn't get the laptop off jimbow, then I was off house sitting for a friend and haven't posted this but have done my first two weeks as an instructor and was stressed out I would mess up and put my student off archery for life (luckily that didn't happen so know feel brave enough to show up here again).
Sunday 29 July 2007 - 22:19:18
Ah, busy bee said the spider! Very understandable, but good that you're playing mentor is going fine. The best teachers are the ones that learn along with their students, less intimidating for both sides. Obviously, your knowledge is better than you think it is. Interestingly, Kathy takes to heart Isaiah 56:3-5, something you might look up. The Midrash says that these verses teaches the lesson that the main progeny of the righteous are their good deeds, where each deed creates a million students, and for each student is created a million offspring. In other words, one never knows how many ripples may be sown by a single rock tossed into the pond.
We'll be going to a function at synagogue this week, a celebratory gig after the somber holiday last week. A proper and appropriate time to remember our loved ones with joy and the happier moments we spent with them, we'll raise a glass to them all in anticipation of meeting them again on a better plain. The Irish aren't the only ones that believe a rousing wake is called for!
Sunday 29 July 2007 - 22:51:27
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Join! (free) 
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
